I am so sorry about the way things turned out.  I hated yesterday.  I am going to ask you to stop drinking.  It felt like someone was tearing my heart out.

I talked with B for quite a while out back.  We were sitting on the rocks talking.  She said you don’t share with her, you hide things from her and it hurts her.  She loves you she does, but she said her patience is wearing thin because you hide things and you are not honest with her.

She said you have a double life and she suspected you had someone on the side.  She said you have a double life she doesn’t know about.  I said this was it, this place you brought her to.  I said he needs to hang out with friends, and he wanted you to come and meet them and see where you go.
 

She said you keep acting suspicious and it makes her wonder.  She insisted she thinks you are cheating on her.  I told her no, she asked how I know, I said we talk, and she knows we have been friends for quite a while.  I told her you have been a good friend to me.  She said if you needed a friend why would you not talk with her (or something like that, it was a little hazy).  I told her sometimes we all other friends too.   

She grabbed my watch when we were talking and pulled it she was very upset when she thought I had a tattoo, and insisted in seeing it.  I had to explain to her first in general terms about BDSM, I asked her to let me tell her that first and then she looked at it.  She was very angry.  She asked why.  I said a lot of people have that, it just means we like pain.  It doesn’t mean anything more than that.  She said people have sex too, I said no, it has nothing to do with sex.  Yes some people might, but that is not what it means.  I said Dwight and I are into this and when I do it with other people we don’t have sex.  She refused to believe me.  She said Dwight would never allow this.  I told her he did and he does, because there is nothing wrong with it.  I also told her we were going to a BDSM play party later, it was Dwight’s idea.  She still shook her head, refused to believe it. 

She asked me somewhere in the conversation, before all this.  She said she saw a collar in the back of your car, and she said she wants to know who holds the end of that leash.  Is it a man? A woman? Who?  I changed the subject  a little.  I was going to tell her but it took a lot not to. 

 

I went inside and tried to tell u this tried to include you in the conversation but you have had too much to drink and were not understanding me all you were doing was hiding your face from me.  So I went back out.   We talked some more but she was already upset.   

 

At some point I came out and she was talking to Jerry, she was smiling and having a good talk.  He got up and asked me if he could interfere.  I asked if it was what is best for you yes.  Just remember, to do what is good for you that I want you to be ok.  He asked if he could then take charge of this mess.  I said ok, for you yes..

 

This is when he walked me out further and asked me if I was ready to let you go.  I said if that is what needs to be done, yes.  I promised to stay out of it and that is when he handed you to her.  I felt my heart break, I could not bear watch her cause you pain.  I had to step away and face away from you.  I started loosing it when I heard you.  And when you yelled for her to stop I got loose from his hold but he had me stay and he went to help u.  I feel so torn and terrible. 

 

Towards the end, Jerry was talking to you, and I was talking with Brenda.  She asked me who is this guy? With a big smile, she said he was so cool.  I said he’s a Dom.  She asked what that is, I said he is a dominant.  She said “nobody will ever dominate me!”  I said nobody said that.   She tried to get around me and I slowed her a bit, because you two were still talking.  But she got around me and went to Jerry.  She tried to push his buttons and I heard her giggle still when I was with you.  You were worried, but I thought he had this one. She started by pushing his buttons to see what he could do, but she hated the results.  He tried to hold her so she would stop but it made her more mad.  I guess like u said, she just flipped out. 

 

I talked to the police, I told them what happened.  They understand BDSM somehow, which made it easier to explain. 

 

All in all, yes tings went bad, but they would have been worse if I had not kept my promise to you.  I promised you not to haul off on her if she made me angry.  But I had to break the promise when I said you should never let her take “top” with you.   But at the moment, since she said she would never be submissive to anyone there was no choice.  Once the wheels started turning we had to move quick. 

 

Well, I don’t understand what you just told me a while ago.  If you all kissed and made up.  What does this mean?

Is she going to learn about BDSM?  Or did she say no more?  What happens now?  Where do you want to go from here?

 

Did we just un-collar you yesterday when I gave you up?  What do you want?